Last week I was walking home from a friend's house, when something bizarre happened to me. While driving past, a man yelled out of a car window, "Wanna go splits in a baby?!"
Outraged, I gave the man two of my most beautiful fingers, and yelled something back at him which was oh-so-inappropriate.
I continued my walk and inevitably I began to wonder where on earth chivalry had gotten to, and why it was that one cannot simply walk down the street anymore without being objectified. Then I got to thinking about my own response to this guy's proposition.
I realised: chivalry isn't dead. It is out on a lunch date with the concept of being ladylike.
One of my good friends has developed quite a crush on a guy she slept with once.
Wait, let me back up on this one. I have to explain.
My good friend went on a date with a guy a few months ago. They really hit it off, and I remember her telling me afterwards that she really thought she could date this guy. Their second date, unfortunately, resulted in a drunken night of passion and a morning after of regret. Needless to say, she didn't hear from the guy again aside from the occasional drunk text.
She asked me a few weeks ago: had she not slept with him so soon, would things be different? Regrettably, I had to admit that they would be. She pushed further: was there anything she could do to rectify the situation and make herself seem date-able again? Unfortunate still, I had to say that there really wasn't anything that could be done. The impression had been made.
I haven't spoken to this friend in a while, but I am fairly sure that she still likes the guy, and he still doesn't care.
The horrible truth is that until a woman starts to act like a lady, she will be treated like a tramp. When men watch Rihanna perform (read 'scantily-clad gyrate'), they don't want to take her out for dinner.
As much as there is probably somebody that all women would like to call up and say "I never behave like that, and I did genuinely want to date you", it simply isn't the way of the world anymore.
Just like yelling out of your car window; the damage is done. Like it or not, we all stand to be judged.
Perhaps I will start to comb my hair more often… and wear pantyhose.
- RH (full time lady)