Sunday, June 30, 2013

Hello, Ladies...

Last week I was walking home from a friend's house, when something bizarre happened to me. While driving past, a man yelled out  of a car window, "Wanna go splits in a baby?!"

Outraged, I gave the man two of my most beautiful fingers, and yelled something back at him which was oh-so-inappropriate. 

I continued my walk and inevitably I began to wonder where on earth chivalry had gotten to, and why it was that one cannot simply walk down the street anymore without being objectified. Then I got to thinking about my own response to this guy's proposition. 

I realised: chivalry isn't dead. It is out on a lunch date with the concept of being ladylike.

One of my good friends has developed quite a crush on a guy she slept with once.
Wait, let me back up on this one. I have to explain.

My good friend went on a date with a guy a few months ago. They really hit it off, and I remember her telling me afterwards that she really thought she could date this guy. Their second date, unfortunately, resulted in a drunken night of passion and a morning after of regret. Needless to say, she didn't hear from the guy again aside from the occasional drunk text.

She asked me a few weeks ago: had she not slept with him so soon, would things be different? Regrettably, I had to admit that they would be. She pushed further: was there anything she could do to rectify the situation and make herself seem date-able again? Unfortunate still, I had to say that there really wasn't anything that could be done. The impression had been made.

I haven't spoken to this friend in a while, but I am fairly sure that she still likes the guy, and he still doesn't care.

The horrible truth is that until a woman starts to act like a lady, she will be treated like a tramp.  When men watch Rihanna perform (read 'scantily-clad gyrate'), they don't want to take her out for dinner.

As much as there is probably somebody that all women would like to call up and say "I never behave like that, and I did genuinely want to date you", it simply isn't the way of the world anymore. 

Just like yelling out of your car window; the damage is done. Like it or not, we all stand to be judged. 

Perhaps I will start to comb my hair more often… and wear pantyhose.

- RH (full time lady)

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

20 Things To Do Before You Hit 25...

It is a bucket list, of sorts... I have done all of these things and they have all changed my life in some way. I have come to believe that all of these things are somewhat essential in this whole 'growing up' thing.

1. Get on a bus or a train with no destination. Get off when your money runs out, or you reach the end of the line. You never know what you'll find

2. Work a service job. This will teach you the value of a dollar; a friendly hello; and a grateful goodbye

3. Open a savings account. Save a small amount every single week. This could be anything from $10 to $50 -- but refrain from taking money out of it. You never know when you're going to need it.

4. Read a book. At least one, each year. Make it something that challenges you.

5. Kiss a stranger. Don't get their name. Don't get their number. 

6. Learn to say 'no'.

7. Find something that makes you feel talented and unique, and do it ALL THE TIME.

8. Go to the cinema, to a restaurant, or to see your favourite band completely alone. 

9. Find a way to differentiate between the people who are in your life because you want them there, and people who are in your life because they never left. Get rid of the people who weigh you down: those who make you feel unworthy or undeserving. Realize that time spent alone is a hundred times better than time spent with those who make you want to hurl all down yourself.

10. Start taking yourself seriously. Your twenties are not the between time for 'figuring things out'. It's OK if you don't have things figured out yet (99% of people don't), but that doesn't mean that you're up for ten wasted years until you hit thirty and can reasonably have an existential crisis. 

11. Embrace the pain. Suffering is universal. You have to be open to the suffering to even give yourself even the slightest shot in hell at happiness: and most likely, you will never get one without some degree of the other.

12. Understand that travel is the only thing you can buy that will make you richer. That Louis Vuitton bag or Chanel lipstick are not going to enrich your life the way you imagine.

13. Own a pet. Or a plant. Take responsibility for something other than yourself.

14. Live alone, in your own apartment

15. Be unemployed - if only for a week

16. Party until the sun comes up: get breakfast on your way home. Also...

17. Go to a world famous party. Be it Oktoberfest, Mardi Gras, Carnaval, Ibiza… I don't care. Just go to one to understand the feeling of mass enthusiasm.

18. Learn how to cook. At least one thing.

19. Write someone a love letter with a pen and a piece of paper: not a keyboard and a gmail account.

20. On a similar note: Write yourself a letter to open in ten years time. Include your passions, goals, and expectations for the future: both for yourself personally, and the world around you. That way, you can still surprise yourself when you're pushing 40.

- RH